One of the Team
by SuperGroverAway
Summary: Wendy receives another taste of the paranormal absurdity that her young friends regularly experience. After accidentally getting herself and the twins into a literal horde-sized mess, it's now up to her to try and get them out in one piece.


For most of her life, Wendy Corduroy genuinely had no idea that the humdrum backwoods town that she called home was so vastly more than met the eye. However, after striking up a close friendship with her boss's great niece and nephew, she had been learning fast that quite an extensive and incredible world of secrets and oddity apparently had been existing right beneath her nose this whole time. The more that she saw, the more she wanted to learn about all the peculiarities that were lying just under the surface of everyday life in Gravity Falls.

It was just her foul luck that the first time she put in some of her own initiative and show her friends a strange little stone ruin she found out near her house, it had to lead to this doozy of a situation.

"...RUUUUUUUUUUN!" A hoarse yell ripped from Dipper's throat. Together, the Pines twins gasped raggedly for breath as they hurled themselves headlong through the woods Their teenaged friend loped along a few feet ahead, pausing every now and then to lob a pinecone behind them and sputter out another hasty apology.

"I didn't know! I'm sorry guys!" She let fly with another missile. It hit one of their pursuers square on the forehead, sending him dropping to the ground. Unfortunately, it did as much good as spitting on a house fire. A horde of conical hat-wearing little men continued to surge through the forest, with their chief furiously urging them on all the while.

"You people have crossed the gnomes for the last time!" Jeff cried. He raised a little fist defiantly in the air, while his other hand held the reins of a tiny squirrel-drawn chariot. The sight he cut would have been downright adorable were it not for the fact that he and his people were plainly out for blood. "First you break our hearts, and now you dare tromp through our sacred circle?"

"We play poker there!" One gnome gibbered angrily.

"That's right!" Jeff continued dramatically. "And now for the crime of trespassing on hollowed gnome ground, you must...uh, you...you must...ah, shoot, can't remember. "

He began searching about for a reminder. "Hey, guys? Hey! He, does anyone know what we we're supposed to do to them now? Ted? Nick? Anyone? Anyone read up on the laws lately? Harold, I'm looking at you here. We all know you're a major bookworm. Seriously, does anyone remember what we do with them?"

"Eat their faces!" Another one of his people answered with a ferocious snarl as he scuttled by on all fours. The chief shuddered disgustedly.

"Wait, seriously? We're supposed to...oh gross, I didn't think that...you know what? Forget about gnome law, we'll think of something else, okay?" He made a hasty executive decision. "But first, _GET THEMMMM_!"

"You guys are the worst!" Mabel turned her head and yelled defiantly. Fresh pangs of panic spasmed through her gut when the gap between pursuers and pursed closed even further. They gnomes were like a swarm of ants, stampeding through whatever lay in their path. The young girl picked up the pace. "What the heck do we do?"

"My house isn't too far off!" Wendy wheezed, drawing deep from depleted energy reserves. As far as she could tell, their only good option was flight.

"Okay...and then they leave us alone?" Mabel piped up optimistically. "Right? That means no face-eating, right?"

"I'm working on it!" Dipper gasped, wracking his brain furiously. It was hard to think up a way out when a miniature army was hot on their heels.

Right as the dim outline of the Corduroy residence appeared up ahead, the trio found their escape route abruptly cut off. A squad of gnomes suddenly leapt down from the branches above, flashing razor-sharp teeth as they barred the way. Teen and preteens ground to a halt, and within moments they were surround by the rest of the rabid mob.

"Well, well, well." Jeff took stock of the prisoners with a relishing smirk. "Now what do we have here?"

Trapped, the cornered band backed up tightly against one another. Dipper bit his lip as he continued to desperately try to cook up a feasible escape plan. Mabel gazed out upon the frenzied pack of her former admirers and let out a hoarse whine. Wendy meanwhile was busy giving herself a thorough mental chew-out. Everywhere she looked it was nothing but snarling, growling little men, all ready to dish out fierce revenge the moment their leader gave the word. Things were about to get monumentally unpleasant, and it was all thanks to her.

Just as she started to wonder if it would even be remotely possible to fight their way through the enormous crowds, fate suddenly threw her a bone. A loud bark rang out in the distance. At least a third of the assembled gnomes automatically flinched in frightened response. Inspiration struck the teen like a lightning bolt, forcing a gasp of relief out of her.

"Is that yours?" Dipper whispered hopefully. Meanwhile, worry was rippling fast through the gnome ranks.

"Was that a...a..." One stammered. The next unmistakeable bark made little bearded faces everywhere go wide-eyed. Even their leader couldn't help but look a little concerned. Quickly he tried to purge the fear from his expression before anyone could notice.

"C'mon men!" He dutifully rallied his people. "It's nothing!"

"But…but it's a dog!" One cried fretfully, and other dissenting voices began to pipe up left and right.

"They're scary!"

"We should head home!"

"A Jack Russell terrier buried me last week!"

"Courage! Courage, my fellow gnomes!" Jeff tugged at the reins of his squirrels. "Show no fear, for we...hey! Seriously? You guys are still scared? Chill out! It's just a dog! Like, one dog."

"Yeah..." Wendy's mind raced. This was their only chance to get out in one piece, and she wasn't going to blow everything for the second time in a row today. "And...aaaannd...lucky for you guys! That means at least one of you is going to get out of here in one piece!"

"Yeah, right!" The gnome chief dismissively scoffed, but then added cautiously, "Uh...right?"

The twins shot her bemused stares. The teen gestured silently, and they read her urgent body language loud and clear. With a vigorous nod Dipper threw himself headlong into the improvised performance.

"You wish! This dog's like a...a walking pile of muscle and teeth!" He lowered his voice in an attempt to sound convincingly menacing. "Trust me, the last thing you want to mess with is a...a..."

"Part German shepherd, part pit bull, part Rottweiler, and part wolf!" Wendy hastily elaborated, listing ferocious dog breeds as fast as she could think of them.

"Part what?" Another husky little voice added to the growing chorus of dismay. The distant barking continued, sowing further fear in the sea of tiny bearded men.

"You heard her! You have ears, right?" Mabel began to toss in her own creative embellishments. "I tried to visit here once, and I didn't even get halfway to the door before it tried to rip my whole everything off! This dog's one super bad poochy! It's got teeth like knives that will...uhhh...tear all your stupid butts to shreds Like, all the shreds!"

"_NO_!" No less than half instinctively clasped their hands over their rear ends as a collective cry of fright went up, followed by a flurry of fearful protests.

"Not my butt!"

"Anything but that!"

"I need this for sitting!"

"We have to tie it up on two chains just so it won't maul the mailman! This dog's been specially bred to keep bears away!" Wendy stretched her acting skills to their very limits, and was honestly surprised by how believable she sounded. "You think you stand a chance? My dad won this thing in an axe-throwing contest!"

"I've seen it eat rabbits whole!" Dipper claimed. "One bite, and that's it!"

"And once it...wait, really? Oh, those poor little bunnies!" Mabel reflexively pouted at the thought. Frantic glances from the others quickly reminded her it was all just an act. "_Oh_! Oh, wait, I mean...yeah, this thing will eat just about anything! Just you name it! I saw it take down an entire deer once just because it looked at him funny!"

Yet another bark rang out, this one louder than the others. The supposed abomination of a canine was clearly getting closer. There was a none-too-distant rustle as something entered the woods, setting the already simmering panic of the gnomes to a full-fledged boil. It only took one glance at the horror etched over his people's faces to convince the gnome ringleader that a retreat was probably in order.

"Uh...um...well, looks like we showed you a thing or two!" Jeff attempted to save a scrap of dignity and wagged a finger at them. "We chased you away...j-just like we planned!"

"But I thought we were gonna eat their-" A particularly sketchy-looking gnome tried to disappointedly protest.

"**_Just like we planned_**!" The chief and sharply reiterated through gritted teeth. "So, uh...yeah, so just don't ever think about-"

One more bark rent the air, signaling that the hell-hound was almost upon them. The tiny men chorused with a shrill group shriek, and before Jeff could give the order, the gnomes had turned tail. High-pitched cries of horror filled the air as the fled like mad back to the safety of their dens. In mere moments they had completely cleared out.

Wendy gasped with relief. However, the twins honestly weren't convinced that they were in the clear. Considering that this was still the Corduroy family pet they were about to meet, it was hard to tell just how far from the truth with they had been with their wild claims. Both tensed up when the nearby bushes parted, and out came -

"OMIGOSH!" Mabel squealed ecstatically at the greying golden retriever.

With tag wagging furiously in delight, the old dog very slowly plodded out into view. First she laid foggy eyes on the familiar teen redhead, but was then distracted by the sight of the twins, who she automatically assumed were two new friends. Soon her entire rear was wiggling excitedly. Of course she wasn't the only soul there nearly overwhelmed with joy. Mabel practically hurled herself at the incredibly friendly animal.

"Hey you! What's your name, huh? Ooooh, lookit you! Lookit you!" She cooed, petting it furiously. "You gave those nasty gnomes such a scare! Uh-huh, you did! But they had no idea that you were such a sweetie-sweets, did they? Did they? Oooh, just look at you! You're just a fuzzy softie, huh? The fuzziest softie in the whole world, that's right!"

The old girl returned the onslaught of affection with a couple licks on her cheek. Mabel's glee accordingly skyrocketed into the stratosphere.

"Dipper! Get over here, _NOW_!" The tween frenziedly beckoned her brother. "She's giving puppy kisses! It's the greatest thing!"

"Well, hi there." Dipper gladly did as encouraged. He managed to worm his arm around his aggressively adoring sister and give their furry savior a grateful pat on the head. Wendy needed to take a few more seconds until she could join them. After putting everyone's lives on the line, it still felt like her gut was bunched in a tangle the size of a cannonball. Thankfully, a couple pats did wonders in loosening the painful knot.

"Hey, Holly." She lovingly scratched the dog behind the ears. "Got here right in time, didn't you? Good girl. Gooood girl."

"How's you know she'd be out here?" Dipper curiously pried. The teen hesitated, then decided to come clean.

"Honestly? I seriously didn't. We kind of lucked out. All I knew was that it'd take her a while to actually get to us, so I thought that maybe-"

"Yeah, and you were amazing!" The boy blurted out in one breath. Dipper immediately followed this up with a forced cough. Mabel giggled as he hurriedly toned down the enthusiasm. He tried again, this time with a slight stammer. "I mean…yeah, that was great."

"Serious?" Wendy was taken aback. After all, she had gotten them chased by a horde of bloodthirsty bearded terrors, and the only thing that saved them was a lucky coincidence. The last thing she had been expecting were compliments.

"Yeah!" Mabel continued to lovingly pet and squeeze the waggy dog as she enthusiastically added to the growing pile of praise. "That was the best! Did you see the look on their weird hairy faces? We totally scared the living everything out of them! Haha! The score's now two for us, and only one for them!"

"...You've messed with those guys before?" She snorted in surprise at the absurd thought. "No way."

"Yup! We got real lucky our first time too." The little brunette cheerily explained. "See, they wanted to marry me, but I was having none of that. Nuh-uh! So they turned into their stupid giant super-gnome, and we got away only because the leaf blower was nearby, and I got to fire one like a missile. PACHOO!"

The teen wasn't sure what her friend was gabbing on about. What she did know was that he guilt wasn't so heavy anymore. She kicked the ground with a heavy boot and laughed with relief. "So you guys think I'm getting the hang of this weird mystery junk?"

Dipper struggled to fight back the wave of scarlet that was threatening to send his cheeks afire with a flush burn. "So far you're handling it just as well as we've been."

Wendy grinned and knocked him in the shoulder. "Sweet. So...what's the drill now?"

"Whadya mean?" Mabel piped up.

"You tell me. We just got chased by...I still don't even know what. You dorks are the experts on this stuff. What do we do now?" She asked again.

It had only been a short trek from the backyard and into the nearby woods, but Holly was frankly feeling exhausted. The old dog let out a loud yawn and then promptly collapsed onto the ground. Mabel eagerly followed her to the forest floor. She still was nowhere near finished hugging and nuzzling the furry bundle of pure happiness.

The weary animal quickly reminded the others just how beat they felt from the mad chase. Wendy and Dipper took one look at one another, exchanged grins, and then unceremoniously threw themselves down among the carpet of dried pine needles and old crunchy leaves for a quick break.

"Sounds like a plan to me." Dipper wheezed as he lay back. The teen grinned and gave her pet one more adoring pat.

"That's a gooood girl..."


End file.
